Content/Trigger Warnings: Child abuse, eating disorders, sexual assault, self-harm, violence, cheating, death, trauma, grief, child neglect, emotional/verbal abuse, body shaming, talk of depression, manipulation, forced hospitalization, and much more!
“one minute you were here; the next, you had already gone. now i’m terrified to leave a room without saying goodbye to everyone inside of it first. – what if they disappear like you did?”
To Drink Coffee with a Ghost is the second and final book in the Things that H(a)unt duology. To Make Monsters Out of Girls explored the memory of toxic relationships, eating disorders, and wanting nothing more than to disappear into the thin cracks of the floor. Now in the second book we explore the memory of a toxic relationship between mother and daughter, body shaming, and the haunting shadows of the dead walking behind us.
Friends, I’m all soft, sappy, and emotional… I say it all the time, but let me say again how much Lovelace’s works are true master pieces. How much I love them and adore these pieces of works. Her writing has a navigation system to the soft parts of my heart and soul , she knows how to shatter me into a million pieces, but pulls me back together again. Her work makes me feel seen and she will forever be an author that has a place in my heart.
To say I have been anticipating To Drink Coffee with a Ghost would be an understatement. I knew the minute I heard she was coming out with the final book in this duology that I had to have it and words can’t express how grateful I was and still am that my past self pre-ordered this book.
I love this book with my whole heart. Amanda has an amazing talent for making readers feel like they’re not alone with their thoughts and they’re feelings when bad things happen to them in life. Even though this book will cause your heart to ache and feel like pieces of you are shattering, there’s comfort in the underlining of her words. That she understands, saying ‘you’re not alone, I’ve been there too.’
This collection is broken down into three parts; ghost-mother, ghost-daughter, and sun-showers. This will be the part where I do a bit of a breakdown. Don’t worry, I try to keep this a spoiler free zone. Besides, emotional reads a better when you go in blind anyway!
🌻 Ghost-Mother – About the toxic relationship one can have with their parent, the lack of acceptance or not being good enough, and the emotional and mental abuse a child can endure.
🌻 Ghost-Daughter – About the death of a parent and living life without them, the heaviness of grief, and slowly becoming your own person without them.
🌻 Sun-Showers – About letting go, finding your family and home, sisterhood, loving yourself and choosing to be free.
Now the way this book addresses grief and what is truly means to lose someone, someone close to you, someone who molded you into the person you are now… Lovelace hits the nail right on the head. While my mother is still very much alive, I have lost many, many people in my years of life to all sorts of causes. And the way Amanda brings to life just how heavy grief and losing someone is so painfully accurate and she talks about the heaviness of it all. She even writes how it feels like she’s walking with the ghost of her loved one weighing her down, impacting her life, and how it all feels like quick sand. Words can’t express how much my heart ached, but how much I loved every second.
“for the first time, i will allow myself to believe that the best can & will happen to me, instead of the worst. – life doesn’t have to be a horror show”
If there’s one thing I love the most about Amanda’s writing is that it never fails to bring some form of hope or sense of peace. Both books in this duology start out heavy, laced with hard, raw emotions and feelings, but slowly they move towards brighter things. Like how we can create and choose our own family, that grief doesn’t have to keep us chained to the darkness, and most importantly, love will always find you in the end. I think that’s why I love the third portion of this book so much. It reminds me so much of finding my own happy place among someone who means the world to me. Plus, the mention of finding a sisterhood was such a breath of fresh air. It’s not often that sisterhood gets put in a positive light especially in the process of healing. Plus, there was a gorgeous illustration to match that sisterhood. This section was truly beautiful, sorrowful, but nonetheless beautiful in every way.
Overall, I truly love Amanda Lovelace and her work. I don’t often mention it, but Amanda has a way of bringing pieces of my life to reality and it touches some of the softest parts of my soul. For me, Lovelace in a favorite author and I can’t recommend picking up her poetry collections enough. Even more so if you find that you’re in need of a mirror, if you feel you’re alone in your thoughts and feelings then her books are the ones to pick up. But please remember to be in the right head space when you read this book. Even the soundest of minds can take some big mental and emotional hits. So please remember self-care and to make sure you’re in the right head space for reading this book. And of course, I think the best way to go into this book is to go in blind (which is why I barely went into detail). Emotional books are best read when one knows barely about it. It’s just the best way, in my opinion, a better reading experience.