Misc.

1 Year Blogiversary Q&A Part Two: Heavy Topics, Mental Health, and Unpopular Opinions

Salutations Chapterlings! Welcome to Part Two of this Q&A! If you haven’t read Part One yet then please make sure you do so. This article is going to be a lot heavier and addressing a lot more personal questions. I will be answering these questions as best as I can without going into too great of details. These are a lot more personal and as much as I like to be open with all of you, I have my limits and boundaries. Now, without any further delays, let’s get into the questions!

Have you had any negative experiences in the book or blogging community?

We’re hitting hard right from the start, huh? The answer is yes. Normally I don’t like to dwell on negative things because it’s really bad for my mental health and I don’t want to keep a space for that kind of negativity. I got into pretty decent detail in my Life Update post, if you haven’t seen that then I recommend checking that out. In short, I was basically being harassed and bullied because I received an arc of a certain 2020 release. These people felt that it was unfair for a small book reviewer/content creator to receive such a highly sought after arc and they made that very clear by making me feel unsafe on all my social media platforms. I took a step back after that.

Why do you put content warnings at the beginning of your reviews?

That’s just a personal preference of mine and I have done since my first experience of reading a book that had no content or trigger warnings. It really messed up my mental health and it took two and a half weeks to feel okay again. When someone reads my review, I want them to know what this book involves and some of the things that will most likely be discussed in my review. The best example I have of this is my review for Sadie.

I’ve noticed when you talk about mental health in your reviews, it comes from a place of knowing. Do you have mental health struggles or just have a wide knowledge of it?

I knew someone was going to ask this question. *Warning, I will be talking about various mental health topics like depression, eating disorders, suicide, etc… Please be aware of that when reading my answer to this question.*

Yes. I actually have mental health struggles. I have quiet a few actually. I guess the best place to start with all of this is I grew up around people who struggled with mental health, severely. As I got older, I developed a lot of mental health challenges. I developed bulimia nervosa at the age of eight because I was constantly surrounded by those who hated my body. So I started to hate my body too. I developed severe anxiety at the age of eight, as well. This was due to a toxic and abusive home life. When I hit my early preteens, I battled depression, self-harm, and attempted suicide. By this time, I also had a drug addiction and an alcohol problem due to trying to find a way to cope with everything happening in my life (those things being people dying all around me and severe abuse). After all of this, I ended up in the hospital from losing weight too fast and my lowest weight being 96 lbs and dropping. Eventually, I was sent to a mental health facility where I learned I have Bipolar Disorder I and PTSD which explained a lot of the things that were happening.

After all of that, I finally started living better to help manage my mental struggles (like my severe anxiety) and to better handle them. Even now, I still have disordered eating, I still have to take medication to manage the Bipolar, and I’m still trying to understand my PTSD to the fullest. And I’m thankful to have a partner who understands the importance of mental health. So when I talk about mental health in my reviews, it comes from a deep knowledge, of having experiencing it, living with it, and experiencing so many things at a young age that no one that young should have to go through. So understand, I take that content very seriously especially when I review a book and if I find that material is doing more harm than good, I will address it in my reviews.

Do you have any recommendations for coping with mental health while reading?

It all depends on the person, in all honesty. Something that may be triggering for me may be entirely different for someone else. For myself, I will have an asmr video or an instrumental video playing on my phone or television when I start reading a book. However, if I feel content is becoming too triggering then I will step away from the book. I won’t force myself to read past that. When I step away, sometimes it’s a few hours and sometimes it’s days. Ultimately, I do what’s best for me and if my mental state is responding really negatively to the content I’m reading, I will ‘dnf’ that book. The best example I have is my review of Things We Lost in the Fire. I will also list one of my favorite asmr rooms as well.

You’re not feminist enough to review books

Originally I wasn’t going to post this comment because it truly is a negative comment and I don’t like inviting that into my space. However, I saw an opportunity with this comment that was just too important to ignore. So this is all I have to say about this.

Misogyny is just as bad as misandry.

If you’re bisexual, how can you be married?

Would you be surprised if I told you that I get this question all the time and on Pride I get bombarded with this question, consistently? Yes, I am married, but that doesn’t change my sexual orientation. The way I always explain it, if I were to get a divorce today or tomorrow, that wouldn’t stop me from being attracted to men, women, or non-binary people. It’s just a part of who I am, it will never change no matter where I go in life, and I will always be very open about that.

What was the hardest part of coming out as bisexual?

I think the hardest part was dealing with the backlash that came from having my relationships with the girls I dated out in the open. It was extremely hard while is school and even harder on those I dated. There were many things that were hard with coming out, but that was the toughest to really go through and watching my partners having to suffer was the worst of it.

How do you respond to negativity or negative comments?

My approach is usually to ignore and delete. I say it all the time, I don’t like negativity in the spaces that bring me joy. I think it’s fine for people to have different opinions and have constructive conversation. However, when things start to turn into heated arguing, saying nasty things to one another, etc… I tend to erase that stuff immediately. If this somehow finds it’s way into my messages, I will report that person and delete the message. I don’t like negativity in my spaces.

How do you cope with your anxiety?

I think this ties in with a previous question, but it varies for everyone. For myself, I listen to a lot of asmr to help keep me calm and relaxed during reading. When I’m at home or out in public and I start to get anxious, I have to do something with my hands. So I usually keep things on me that allows me to keep my hands busy. At home it might be video games or using a stress ball. Out in public I might have a fidget spinner or rubik’s cube. I also tend to keep items with soft textures near by as they help calm my anxiety. If I’m lucky, one of my pets may be nearby and I may go pet them for a while. If you do like asmr, I will leave another link for another favorite asmr video.

Do you have an unpopular opinions?

Yes. Yes I do and it’s a lot.

๐ŸŒธ Women can play football, backyard or otherwise.

๐ŸŒธ Mountains are better than beaches. Take a trip to New Hampshire sometime, you’ll thank me later!

๐ŸŒธ ASMR is amazing and I don’t care what you say!

๐ŸŒธ Personally, I think Night is better than Day.

๐ŸŒธ Although I like tea, very much, coffee is better.

๐ŸŒธ ACOFAS wasn’t terrible and a nice pace changer. I WILL FIGHT YOU ON THIS.

๐ŸŒธ I will always choose Andriod over Iphones. Stop trying to convince me they’re better, I will list so many reasons why they’re not.


Okay, I really had to stop myself there before I just spent a really long time doing that list. Just know that I have many unpopular opinions, those are the ones that I could think of on the fly. Alright, those are all the personal questions. There are actually a few I didn’t answer because they were just far too personal and I really didn’t feel comfortable answering them. Regardless, I hope you enjoyed Part One and Part Two of this wild Q&A! It truly means the world that you would stick around to read both parts. I truly appreciate all the love and support that each and every one of you give to me. I hope you know how grateful I am and that I hope I can continue to show how much it means to me by the content I put out. Until next time, stay safe, thank you for the love and support, I love you! ๐Ÿ’•

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Misc.

1 Year Blogiversary Q&A Part One: Bookish Questions, Getting Personal and Nerdy

Salutations friends! I can’t believe my blog has officially hit one year old! This wouldn’t be possible without all of you! For believing in me, wanting all of this to succeed, and for loving me the way that I am. You all have made this all possible, inspire me each and every day to create content, and I love you all!

And apparently you all are very, very curious about the person behind the screen! A while ago I put out ways for you to tell me the questions you wanted to ask, literally ask anything, and I was shocked with the amount of messages. So many questions that I actually divided these into two parts. Most of these questions were able to be categorized as something book related and nerdy or something personal and heavy.

So if you’re reading this, welcome to part one of this two parted Q&A! I hope I don’t disappoint with my answers! Just sit back, relax, and let’s answer some of your questions!

Have you learned anything new about yourself?

The short answer is yes. The more specific response is I need a thorough schedule to do everything that I do. I balance my personal life and the things I do for my blog, for Bookstagram, etc… I keep them separate, but I realized I have to stay on a constant schedule otherwise my whole momentum gets thrown off. I’ve learned that there are many people who appreciate the content I create and I have made some truly wonderful friends that I never thought I would have made.

What are your favorite bookish posts that you’ve written?

One of my most favorite posts is my review of Sadie. It was one of the hardest reviews I ever wrote, I get very emotional and personal in that review. I’m extremely proud of that post. My second favorite would be my Wicked As You Wish by Rin Chupeco Blog Tour and Review. Talking back and forth with Rin, I left our conversation with a very deep appreciation for her and the other authors who recognize the smaller bloggers and content creators. It truly was a wonderful experience and I’m glad that I got to be a part of her street team for Wicked As You Wish.

Do you review every book you read or just arcs?

I usually review every book that I read. I take extensive notes. If I have multiple copies of a book, I will use one for my own library and then the others for taking notes, annotating, and discussions. The only time I don’t review a book is a ‘dnf’ book. It’s rare when I ‘dnf’ a book, but it does happen.

What are some of the things that you accomplished because of your blog or being in the book community in general?

I feel like I have come a lot farther compared to when I first started out in the book community. I have been a part of the book community for a long time. I believe 2014 was the year I dipped my toes into getting involved, but I think I truly started feeling accomplished as I started to branch out and develop my skills. I became more of a critical reviewer, I found an aesthetic that makes me happy (which I have a new background that I’ll be testing out on my IG soon), and I really started to carve a space for myself, that’s something I’ve never done before because I never knew how to make a place for myself to exist (that last bit will tie into a on part two of this Q&A). There’s many things I accomplished because of books and I’m very grateful to be where I am right now.

I know your birthday is coming up in May, what are three books you’re hoping to get or do you have a wishlist?

I think I know who this is, May is still a ways off, and yes, I have a wishlist which you can find HERE, but please don’t feel obligated to get me anything. I am very blessed with the books that I have right now and with tbr carts that are overflowing, I shouldn’t be getting more, for now. If I absolutely had to pick three books to receive for my birthday, it would be the ones below.


Overall most anticipated 2020 book release?

In no specific order so you too can check them out too! You can also check out some of my posts that hint to authors I’m supporting and check out my anticipated 2020 shelf!

Do you have a favorite tea?

I drink a lot of Harney & Sons tea, but I also drink a lot of the Yogi Tea as well.

You mention that you game a lot, what are your top five favorite games?

Okay, okay! You’re now a very precious bean and I will protect you at all cost! I love talking shop about games and that’s one of the hardest questions to answer. So all my favorite games will be shown below!

How do you find inspiration to write your articles?

Everywhere and from everyone. Sometimes I get asked a lot to do specific articles like my Sekaiichi Hatsukoi series review. Sometimes I end up with something right on the dot and then I’ll write it down so I don’t forget. Other times it’s usually a lot of coffee.

I read your ‘About Me’ section. You do LARPING?! Can you tell us about your character?!

My main character is an elf mage named Malliumpkin. I play a few side characters with my group, as well. Usually those side characters are healers or temporary encounters. We have even done a few side quests where I have been random creatures such a fauns, spirits, and animal shapeshifters or shamans. Most of my gear was crafted by a dear friend. Other pieces I invested in myself. And that’s all you need to know! Aside from the fact that the next event we do will be our 100th LARPing quest. If you’re looking to get started, I highly recommend checking this article out!

How do you manage to read and blog on top of everything else?

I have a giant calendar hanging on my wall where I write down all my buddy reads, my readathons, when blog posts need to go up, etc… I also use Google Calendar to communicate to my spouse important information like appointments, personal events, etc… With those two tools at my disposal, I can keep track of where my time and energy is being spent. Did I mention I write down the times for all of things? I include the time with everything I do. My days are usually planned to the very last minute before I need sleep. That’s usually how I stay on top of managing my life and then everything with reading and blogging.

What are some books you could put in anyone’s hands right now?

How do you take notes and do thorough reviews?

Oh jeez… My process is very chaotic and all over the place, if I’m being honest. I use a sketch book to take notes for my reviews, I use sticky notes to make side notes inside my books, then I have colored tabs to indicate important information, and then I have pastel highlighters for going back through and narrowing down the information sections. It’s a really chaotic mess and usually when I’m like that my spouse will have to bring me snacks and drinks because I will go at it for hours with annotating, drafting, narrowing things down, etc… It’s just wild and I come out looking like a wildling every time.

A mythical creature you would want to turn into?

Do you have any best friends?

I’m pretty sure I know who sent this and yes I do, I love each and every one very dearly!

Do you have any pets?

Yes I do! I have three cats and a corgi! If you follow my IG then you will occasionally see them pop up in my feed and they even have their own dedicated story header!

Is there anything you want right now?

I feel like this another one of my friends asking for birthday purposes. So please read the question above asking about my birthday and wishlist. If it’s not, I could really go for some sushi and some starfruit right about now!

What color are your eyes?

Many people think my eyes are brown, but they’re actually hazel. My eyes can turn all the way to the brightest shade of topaz all the way to a dark, dark brown, almost black.

How long have you been gaming and reading?

I have been reading and gaming since I was a kid. Six years old is how far I can remember being really focused on reading and gaming. Years later and I’m still focused on gaming and reading!

What would you tell someone who wants to start their own book blog?

I would tell you to just start. My biggest fear was just getting started and I think it helps to hear from someone who was really nervous about starting their bookstagram, starting this blog, and just being more involved in the book community than what they were. It took me a while to work up the courage to start, but once I started, I couldn’t stop and I found some of the most amazing people who I now get to call friends. This community is very welcoming and if you’re looking for someplace to carve out your own space, the book community is a lovely place to start.

What are the top three songs you’re listening to right now?

๐ŸŒธ The Midnight – Sunset

๐ŸŒธ PENTAGON – Shine

๐ŸŒธ Skrux – Devotion


Okay, friends! Those are all the personal questions that were book related, very nerdy, and just stole every part of my heart! If you have any other question, don’t hesitate to ask in the comments below. I do like to be as open as I can be with all of you, so don’t hesitate. Part Two of this Q&A should be happening shortly after this article is posted and this article is going to be much heavier, more personal, and so many hard topics are going to be talked about in that article. So I hope you’re still able to join for Part Two! Until next time, thank you for all you love and support, I truly appreciate you! ๐Ÿ’•

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